Brain Farts And Other Cognitive Malfunctions
Sometimes I think I have a loose wire somewhere between my brain and my mouth. Someone will ask me a question, I know exactly how I intend to respond, the pertinent information needed to respond has already been located, sorted and approved by my brain and yet when I open my mouth to speak, something entirely different comes out. See the pretty plant?
My mom came over a while back, she looked around my yard and seeing this lovely purple plant, said; ” What’s that purple stuff growing on your garage?” To which I replied, “Oh that’s my Chlamydia, it’s been spreading like crazy this year.”
Now my brain knows perfectly well that this lovely purple plant is called Clematis, not Chlamydia, which is a not so lovely STD that generally does not thrive on the sides of garages. The message was just lost somehow en route…
A while back I was relating a story to the fabulous miss Skeeterbess about my recent bug travails (and my propensity for brain farts). Skeet is in the pest control business so I felt compelled to tell her my most embarrassing bug story. It went something like this: One of our renters called at nearly midnight to tell us that there were termites swarming in her kitchen. Well, needless to say I barely slept a wink the rest of the night. First thing the next morning I called the exterminator and told him; “I need you to go over to the rent house right away, it has a turnip infestation!”
Silence.
Then, ” Pardon mam?” So I told him AGAIN, ” We have a TURNIP infestation…in our rent house!” The guy says totally dead-pan; “Yeah, the turnips are really bad this year.”
I am pretty sure he tells that story at every annual bug convention.
